A Near-Pinstrosity

A few weeks ago I tried the Venetian Apricot Chicken at Olive Garden and I really liked it, so when I saw a recipe for Sweet Apricot Chicken I knew it was something I’d have to try.  It was a simple enough recipe and all I had to do was throw it in the crockpot, so I was sold. My only issue was that I’d never heard of apricot-pineapple jam. So I perused the jam/jelly/preserve aisle of the supermarket until I found:

(Smucker's Apricot-Pineapple Preserves)

Which I assumed would work. The recipe calls for six to eight chicken breasts, but since it’s just me and Goober, I used four. Unfortunately, I’m not the best at math, so I didn’t really take into account that I’d have to cut down the measurements for the sauce/marinade, too. When we get to the nutrition it’ll likely be an overestimate due to my masterful over-saucing. You’re supposed to mix one cup each of the apricot-pineapple jam and Catalina dressing with ¼ cup of dry onion soup mix (it worked out to be one packet of the Lipton’s stuff) and pour it over the chicken. I like to layer my chicken and sauce so that everybody gets in on the party.

(You can see all the little dry soup chips. Ironic foreshadowing.)

Roughly half of the way through the cooking time I went to rotate the chicken and noticed that it looked kind of pink. Not chicken pink either, more neon pink. Should-not-be-a-food-color pink. I decided to let it be and we’d just figure it out when it came time to eat. The original recipe wanted to be served over rice, but Goober is not the biggest fan of rice and I’m actually starting to get a little tired of mashed potatoes (shocker, I know!) so I found this orzo recipe that looked pretty good until I realized the math didn’t add up (double shocker! Me and math!). I’m not sure what kind of orzo she used, but my orzo is 200 calories for ¼ of a cup, so there’s no way the completed recipe would be 118 calories for ½ cup. I scrapped the orzo and we just had broccoli.

 (Okay, it looks less fluorescent here, but trust me.)

It still came out looking kind of inedible to me, but Goober played the role of the good boyfriend and swore it looked delicious. As soon as I cut my piece open I realized the radioactive sauce had formed some kind of protective barrier around the skinless chicken, creating a moist inside and an almost crunchy exterior. In the end, my main complaint was that the dry onion soup mix never fully incorporated and we were left with gummy, chewy chips stuck to the chicken. Goober wants me to make it again, but I’d have to think of something to do about that onion soup mix first.

(Much better once we got through the radioactive coating)

Nutritional info: 1 chicken breast with grossly exaggerated sauce (it really did mostly stay in the crockpot, I’d probably at least halve this): 640 calories, 17g fat (3g Saturated), 140mg Cholesterol, 1510mg Sodium, 0mg Potassium, 80g Carbs (0g Fiber, 65g Sugar), 51g Protein.